Big Boy Shots

Today I had to go into the doctor's office for a tetanus shot. I had to go into the chiropractor beforehand because I messed up my back at work last week, giving me multiple doc appointments in one day. Needless to say, I feel like I'm getting old already. Ya know what makes me not feel old though? Getting called out by the nurse as she flips through a pile of paperwork on me: "I'm sorry, It'll just be a second. I can tell you are really nervous about this."



Was she right about this? Of course she was. The whole process of sticking needles in flesh totally skeeves me out. It's always bothered me. When I was a tot, I'd rather fall down a flight of stairs that were on fire than get a shot. Then I grew up and watched "Requiem for a Dream," taking my needle disgust to another level. (If you have seen the movie, no explanation is needed) I don't think that shots are even remotely painful, I just hate the process of needle insertion. So much so, if fact, that when I got multiple needles during allergy tests last year, the doc had to stop because I "looked pale like I was going to pass out." When I'm looking paler than usual, there is clearly a problem.

So anyway, the nurse eventually gave me the shot, which of course took 1.3 seconds and went as easily as a shot should. As if I hadn't already raised questions about my age through my (apparently) unavoidable anxiety concerning the procedure, I decided to open my mouth. "Is it over?" I asked hesitantly. "It's all over!" she replied in a manner that led me to believe she was going to follow up the shot with a ninja turtle band aid and a high five. "Is it over?" Of course it's over Ryan you idiot, it's a shot not an appendectomy. Now get up and walk out before she changes her mind and decides to give you another.