Ad(unkin)d(onuts)iction

As I walked away from Dunkin Donuts today for the second time in 5 hours I realized something...I have a problem. I've struggled with plenty of vices throughout my renegade-teenage years, but only one has withstood the test of time. It's strange because I feel obligated to write about D&D, but no words could really do justice to what the joint has done for me, is doing for me, and will no doubt continue to do for me till the day my DD-diets puts me 6-feet under. (Wow that was an interesting sentence, kind of awkward...eh, oh well)







Whether it's a coffee(hot or iced depending on the mood and the season of course), a breakfast sammmmich, a donut(usually multiple), a muffin, or any other dessert item you can get away with eating for breakfast, Double Ds is perfection. I actually think that they put something in the air or in the ingredients of their items to keep you coming back. It's some sort of nicotine-like substance that just keeps your addiction strong. It's just unnatural how much I want to be in there. I love it when I snag a delectable something-or-other then see someone immediately after. They glance at the unmistakable orange and pink lettering and smell the air around me. "Mmmmm, you smell like Dunkin Donuts", the person always says as their eyes glaze over like a fresh batch of donuts arriving in its assigned seat on the rack classroom. I have a variation of responses that range from "Yeeeeeea duuude" to "Can't live without it", but who cares, I'm taking the emphasis off of where it really belongs, the stars of the show.





Sports fans often use the metaphor of a pitching rotation on a baseball team to classify types of things (like t-shirts, or tv shows). There are 5 starters that carry the bulk of the innings on the mound during the season, the "ace" being the go-to guy and the other 4 as key pieces to a strong rotation. Anyways, here is my present order

ACE (Go-to): Chocolate Frosted
Number 2: Vanilla Kreme
Number 3: Chocolate Glazed
Number 4: Bluberry Cake
Number 5: Kreme (like if a vanilla kreme and a chocolate frosted had a dough-baby)
Spot-Starter (Fill-in guy in the rotation if called for): Sour Creme (sounds nasty but the taste is quite the opposite)

Still, I can't understate the supporting characters that enhance the show. The Bagels, Muffins, Coffee Rolls, and Munchkins all do their part to ensure that whatever you're feeling on a given day is there and ready for your consumption.
And this whole production isn't just about getting your hunger satisfied. It stands for much more. The excitement you get checking out the selection at a local D&D, or the first sip of that hot coffee on a icy winter day, or the first bite of a Bagel or sandwich after a long night or before a brutal day ahead. Those uniquely delicious feelings are priceless.

And why is there a picture below of some quasi-celebrity babe, you ask? It's not her almost-recognizable status I'm drawing attention to. It's the fact that this picture is symbolic of my future wife, who will without question appreciate D&D. And D&D my friends, is a symbol of all that is both happy and yummy in the world. After all, you can't spell addiction without two D's!

MC Hammer's Spending Habits > Temple University

1) If school spirit were money I wouldn't just be broke, I'd have more debt than MC Hammer.
2) Saying I have not enjoyed my time at Temple would be like saying that MC Hammer made a couple small mistakes with his once-plentiful finances.
3) Saying that MC Hammer is a better artist than the complete frauds they are blasting from a loudspeaker propped on the wall of this Computer Lab would be like saying....ok you get the point. Or do you?






The point of this blog is not that MC Hammer still belongs in our daily conversation, it's that I hate Temple University. I have no pride in my school, and why should I? It'd be hard enough for me to find the will to live during the average semester at a respectable school, let alone one filled with idiots. Maybe I'm just stressed and angry right now. Or maybe I could spend the next few minutes bringing up my favorite reasons why Temple won't get a dime from me if (no, WHEN!!!) I make it big someday. I guess I'll just pick an arbitrary number and do this countdown-style. Hmm, how bout 8? Like "crazy eights"... Like 8 reasons why I am crazy for going to this piece of you-know-what institution. (Incidentally institution is a good word, cause that's where all the loonies, like myself, generally go)

7) The entire process of advising at this Penitentiary , and in general, finding someone who knows what they're talking about when you need some assistance in any aspect of the headache that is the College process.
WAIT WAIT WAIT WE HAVE A TIE FOR NUMBER 7 (And I SWEAR on my love of the Philadelphia Eagles this just happened)...we'll call it 7A. The girl sitting 5 seats away from me in this computer lab talking very audibly about how "it was too long and I was limping afterwards and lied to people and said I was walking funny cause I was tired" and also that "I lost my virginity to a guy who was right out of prison" I really couldn't make this stuff up if I tried...
You stay classy San Diego...

6) I have had numerous professors give the same grades to everyone in the class as long as they completed the assignment. This method contributes to lazy students remaining that way or getting worse, and simple annoys the living daylights out of the students who are putting in "A" level work into an assignment. Obviously, the only time this method can be used is with writing because there isn't one right way to craft an essay. Writing is my jam too, which is one reason this method is particularly aggravating to me.

5) The trigger for today's blogiful rant. I work part-time during semester at a Computer Lab, you know, the kind of place where people study during weeks like this one, midterm week. The event coordinators in the housing facility thought that in this massive building the best place to have a loud-ass dance thingamajigger was RIGHT NEXT TO THE MOST COMMONLY USED PLACE TO STUDY IN THE DAMN BUILDING!!! Great game-plan guys, just brilliant. And yes I am one of the people suffering from this tremendous, yet not unusual, oversight. 2 exams tomorrow...things like this happen way too often...

4) Marilyn Manson gave a guest lecture in a Philosophy class. We all know his extensive credentials in the field of education. It's okay though, it's not like you're going to alienate a portion of your student population whose religion has been repeatedly crapped on over the years by bringing this douchebag in. Oh wait...

3) John Street was given "Professor" status at Temple after they wrongly deemed him competent enough to "teach" this generation of TU students. This pompous ass was hired by the University? The worst Mayor in the history of the city (shoot, in the history of alot of cities) is influencing the future of the city now? Even if Street knows how the government works better than the average person, he's also 467 times more likely to go on a tangent about his own greatness than the average person. People in his class will learn, but it won't be about political science. But hey, Temple doesn't have department for courses on how to be an undeniable jerkoff, so I guess the PoliSci one had to take him in.

2) One female professor decided to grill me because I said that I thought it was immoral to sleep around without limitations. "People should be able to be in control of their sexuality" is what she said. Fine, your morals tell you that having carefree sex with whoever you choose is good, and mine don't. But don't tell me that I'm wrong because I subscribe to a set of morals that may be more conservative than yours. And in the same vein of hypocritical liberal yo-yos...drumroll for numero uno....


1) I got a terrible grade from a homosexual professor because I spoke my mind. At least with the professor in #2, my argument with her did not affect my grade. It was a Tuesday (the worst day of the week) morning, and the professor thought it was a good time for a pro-gay rant, because why not? I mean I think of gay and lesbian rights as completely intertwined with English composition, who doesn't? I calmly raised my hand and told him I thought that if society accepts homosexuality as something that is inherent from birth they would also have to accept those who felt inclined to bestiality or incestuous relations as normal also. The comment infuriated him and I got a C- in the class because every grade following the interchange between us was absurdly low given the work that was put in, and more importantly the overall quality of the writing. Don't feed me your damn agenda when it has nothing to do with class, then get angry at me for speaking my mind on the issue, while in the process putting you in your place. And don't ever give me a bad grade because you've got some unresolved personal issues. Thank you TU, stellar hiring job right there!


So there you have it. Temple U: Motivating me to achieve new heights so that one day when I get a request for a donation to the school, I can save some toilet paper and use that letter instead. On the bright side, by that point I will be far removed from excreting the nasty array of "food" that's on campus. Goodness gracious, is it that hard to get some good grubbin options at a place where people naturally consume massive amounts of food....and you were wondering where number 8 on my list was, weren't you?

Hotel California

So I was just walking through campus and I heard the Eagles song "Hotel California" echoing through the brisk February air. I stopped to listen as the remainder of the song played...

A few months ago, I realized that this is one of my favorite songs ever written. The girlfriend and I go to this amazing Mexican joint in Delaware, La Tolteca. Every Friday night a few mariachis play, walking around to different tables while patrons make requests and enjoy the tunes. Anyway, they do an unbelievable Hotel California cover and every time I go to this place on a Friday, I anxiously wait for them to reach our table so we can request it. Every time I hear the cover I listen to the lyrics closer than the time before and it has caused an obsession of sorts.

I used to be the type to believe that a song had one meaning that was more real to the owner's intent when writing the piece than all others. While this may still be true to some extent, the meaning I feel through specific lines of this song feel so specific to me. Put some of my favorite parts in bold. Listen to the song a few times. Just some random thoughts, but then again, is any part of this blog not completely random?



On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair
Warm smell of colitas, rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw shimmering light
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim
I had to stop for the night
There she stood in the doorway;
I heard the mission bell
And I was thinking to myself,
'This could be Heaven or this could be Hell'
Then she lit up a candle and she showed me the way
There were voices down the corridor,
I thought I heard them say...

Welcome to the Hotel California
Such a lovely place (Such a lovely place)
Such a lovely face
Plenty of room at the Hotel California
Any time of year (Any time of year)
You can find it here

Her mind is Tiffany-twisted, she got the Mercedes benz
She got a lot of pretty, pretty boys she calls friends
How they dance in the courtyard, sweet summer sweat.
Some dance to remember, some dance to forget

So I called up the Captain,
'Please bring me my wine'
He said, 'We haven't had that spirit here since nineteen sixty nine'
And still those voices are calling from far away,
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say...

Welcome to the Hotel California
Such a lovely place (Such a lovely place)
Such a lovely face
They livin' it up at the Hotel California
What a nice surprise (what a nice surprise)
Bring your alibis

Mirrors on the ceiling,
The pink champagne on ice
And she said 'We are all just prisoners here, of our own device'
And in the master's chambers,
They gathered for the feast
They stab it with their steely knives,
But they just can't kill the beast

Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door
I had to find the passage back
To the place I was before
'Relax,' said the night man,
'We are programmed to receive.
You can check-out any time you like,
But you can never leave!'

Things I Don't Trust (Part 2)

Ok, so I started a list of "Things that I don't trust" in a blog I wrote in January. If you need to catch up on this list you can get to part 1 via the following link... http://ryforry.blogspot.com/2009/01/things-i-dont-trust.html

Anyhow, let's continue on this list, shall we?




8) Red-Sour Patch Kid Hogs
One of the most vile group of human beings, the selective SPK hunters will shamelessly pick out every red one in the batch, leaving all others with the three, still delicious, but less desirable flavors to choose from. The bottom line is that everyone knows the red ones are the best and there is only way to distribute these tart bundles of joy, and that is by chance. You just have to reach your hand in the bag, and take whatever you pull out, and hope that good fortune shines upon you. Annoyingly selective candy eating is not unique to Sour Patch Kids either. Any bag of assorted candy may ultimately end up exposing someone's poor character.
(One of my favorite stories that no one beside myself would think was funny happened on a Road Trip to the beach, when my buddy Ben had an unfortunate streak of picking yellow SPKs, clearly the least desirable of the 4 original flavors. This will happen when you play the candy-eating game fairly, but you have to go with the flow. He later hit a nice streak of reds)

9) Redheads
While we are on the subject of the color red, let's bring up this unique group of people. Have I encountered plenty of redheads in my life that I love to death? Yes of course. (And I certainly love you Red Mandee if you read this, despite the fact that this past weekend you said I would've been Hitler's prized child because of my breathtakingly handsome blue eye/blonde hair combo haha)Would I be surprised if all redheads had strange X-men-like mutant powers and were involved in a conspiracy to overthrow the current authorities that be and rule the planet? Not even a little. Besides, any category of people that Sam Greenberg could fit into is one to be wary of.

10)The Phoney Peacemakers
I love it--and that is a VERY sarcastic love it--when someone tries to position themselves in the middle of a dispute that has nothing to do with them. It's one thing if two of your best friends are about to fight to the death about who has the right to the last piece of pizza...you may want to intervene there. If someone is on the verge of attempting to make a complete fool out of themselves and this person is close to your heart, okay. But please, if you aren't close to the two people involved in an altercation, just stay away from it. People who put themselves directly in the middle of drama that affects them in no way, are clearly just looking to live vicariously through someone else's difficult times. People who get a cheap thrill out of getting in the middle of others' business or get a false sense of satisfaction as "peacemaker" in the situation should not be trusted. Glad we are on the same page here.

11)Wide Receivers
First there was Marvin Harrison's off-season incident in the summer of 2008. After that was Anquan Boldin's meltdown during the recent NFL Playoffs and subsequent contract complaints. It's only a matter of time before you find out that the guys who you think are exceptions to the T.O./Chad Johnson Wideout rule, end up falling right into the stereotype. It's really frustrating the list of NFL receivers that we can trust not to be a me-first, multi-million dollar baby, is getting slimmer and slimmer.

12) Britney Spears' Comeback (and what is says about humanity's progress)
Her music was pretty brutal to begin with, but still sold massive amounts. Now she is having an inane amount of success with a comeback...I shutter at the cultural implications. If there is a more conclusive sign that we should have "Epic Fail" stamped on the collective forehead of our "civilization", I have not scene it. And to think that there are lyrical geniuses in the world who struggle to have their voices heard while a whiny voiced, grown-up brat is repeating the word "womanizer" an excruciating number of times, and making millions of dollars by doing so. Let's move on before my anxiety issues worsen...

Actually, let's end on that note, and I can regroup mentally and hopefully post tomorrow. This week's gonna be brutal one. Wish me luck!

Hey, Tuesday rhymes with Short-fuse Day...kind of

Man, it's just really difficult to get out of the way nowadays isn't it. Both today and yesterday I had numerous encounters with people who just wouldn't move to the side and ease the stress of people's busy days. Alright, so let's get to the individual incidents that made me angrier than a liberal talking about Fox News.

First off, we have the people in North Philadelphia, and many other regions of our fine city, that think that it's okay for them to cross when the light is red and my Camry is barreling down the street. Eventually, a situation like this is going to put me in jail for vehicular homicide. When I have to slam on the brakes with a green light in front of me and the idiot pedestrian doesn't so much as push their pace to a trot, it's infuriating. I slam on the breaks. They look at me like I'm crazy for going on GREEN and then proceed to cross the street with the same intensity of someone walking to get a colonoscopy. I'm telling you right now there is no way that this can end well. If you are the one who has to pay the bail, I am apologizing in advance right now.

Secondly we have the sorority "sisters"--and I use the term as loosely as possible, probably even looser than any of their va....nevermind. My beef with these greek-letter-clad prostitutes is that if you want to act high and mighty on your own time or to a neighboring Brothel..er, Sorority House, go ahead, be my guest. But when people are trying to walk in a very, very crowded area, it holds up progress when you decide to park it right in the middle of the hallway/pathway to have a gossip session. MOVE OVER 3 FEET!!! IT IS NOT THAT HARD!!! It is hard however for the hundreds of people who are already walking single-file to get past your ignorant asses. And you know what, human ignorance comes in all shapes and sizes, so I don't want to just pick on Greek Life, oh wait, yea I kind of do.

Lastly, (at least for now) do not double park or stop your car in the middle of the road to have a lengthy conversation. Especially when you're RIGHT NEXT TO A PARKING SPOT!!! Again, it's just plain ignorant. Look, I understand people got their stuff to unload or whatever, but there's a clear difference between people who need to get something done and the people who just don't give a crap about inconveniencing others around them.

Anyways, I'm done ranting for now. Blogs of more substance will be on the way soon I promise. Although I must say, I'm somewhat proud of myself for keeping up with this thing. Ryan "Vehicular Homicide" Lewis is ouuuuuuutttta heeeeree...

The Weatherman

I moved into a city
And met the weatherman
He told of forecasts full of sun
And beauty filled the land

I asked him if this was the norm
Skies cloudless, bright and blue
He told me before I arrived
That seven storms passed through

And as I walked, surveying land
That seven storms had hit
I feared ominous patterns
Weathermen wouldn't admit

Still this land had potential
With bad weather aside
After some reconstruction
In this place, I'd abide

One day while toiling on the ground
The sun could not be seen
I called the weatherman up quick
To see what this could mean

With signs of storm still closing in
He said don't be alarmed
The sky will clear up soon enough
And no land will be harmed

And as the sky still darkened
The violent storm approached
The horizon took an evil form
The devil couldn't have coached

My faith in him was waning
I'd met weathermen before
It started lightly raining
The lands beauty faded more

And harder still it fell and fell
He told me it'd soon pass
But all my doubts were backed up by
Wrong forecasts he'd amassed

Still this land had potential
With bad weather aside
After some reconstruction
In this place, I'd abide

Trying to find my sanity
In the wake of the storm...
Can't seem to break this feeling
I've been here before...

Post Valentines Day Thoughts

Well, what do I have to say upon concluding V-Day 2009, you ask? Not much that would interest you. See, here's the thing: Valentine's Day is an inherently awkward holiday. It's all a bit hokey if you are in a relationship, and it's just a random day that pisses you off if you're single, burying your face in the fact you're alone.

Let me preface this paragraph by saying that I had a great V-day weekend. A nice dinner out, watching a movie with a bangin homemade brownie sundae, just some real quality time with the girlfriend. I could go on about how lovely it was, but isn't that the point of being with someone. You don't need one 24-hour red and pink period to enjoy someone else's company and display your love for them, because it should be happening frequently. If you're in a relationship you can have a grand old day on February 14th, make lots of romantic gestures and spend time appreciating your significant other. It sounds all well and good, sure, but the fact that people need a "holiday" to celebrate their love for their partner in crime is just plain sad. Not to mention, it just seems like a bad competition sometimes. Who did what for their Valentine and went where, and how much was it, and how extravagant the displays of affection were etc etc. Meanwhile you have all single people questioning their character as every couple in the world is flaunting the fact that they're taken for a day.

The intermingling of single and locked-down people on V-day is another aspect of the loosely termed "holiday" that is awkward by nature. You get the feeling that it's absolutely necessary to have someone on this one random day of the year. Cupid's arrows don't hit everyone who's alone on February 13th, heck, some people never get hit...scary thought. But the fact that some girls lose sleep over it and most guys have no clue what to think of it are both pretty good indicators that the culturally fostered V-day bug is getting a little to big for his britches. People need to chill out about the holiday a bit, but maybe by even writing this blog I'm contributing to the hype.

Here is another problem I have with Valentine's Day. It's a glaring example of what is wrong with people. Everyone really hates each other. Okay, maybe that was a little overstated, but let's face it, people derive some sort of strange thrill from watching drama. When someone asks you how your relationship is going, they aren't asking follow up questions if you tell them it's going well. They want the down and dirty. For guys, it's more about avoiding awkward romantic talk, and for girls it's about gaining hot-gossip material for the day. Either way, someone's interest varies depending on how bad it is, not how peachy it's going.

The rant aside, it was a great weekend with the woman, but not tremendously different from any other weekend we spend together. But a drama-free weekend probably doesn't get the blog ratings during sweeps period? Oh well, till we meet again faithful reader...