Ry used to work at a local pharmacy in his neighborhood. Everyone's heard the story about the place getting robbed and Ry getting a .45 to his noggin, and many other notable things happened at his place of employment for 4 years of his life. But here's a brief one...Ry used to be really smitten over this lady who was approximately 5 years his senior. She used to come in and get her prescriptions and a bottle of diet pepsi. She was dating an Aussie, who ended up breaking her heart (Ry knew this because the pharmacy was also the gossip-center of Fairmount so Ry got the dirt on everyone in town) Anyways conversation was kept somewhat to a minimum, strictly business, because well, Ry wasn't the eloquent mac-daddy that he is today. One Saturday afternoon, Ry was looking/feeling fresh and decided it was time to step it up.
"Hey, how you doing?" he asked Jen.
"I'm alright, and yourself?" she replied.
"Faaantastic, it's an absolutely gorgeous day outside."
"Yea it sure is, I'm definitely planning on enjoying it outdoors somehow."
"Somehow huh? Everyone's got a go-to activity when the weather's nice."
"Haha, well what's yours?"
"Probably rounding up whatever friends are free and going to the park for a game of touch-football," he said, setting himself up for the perfect transition to the invite.
"Oooh sounds fun," she said in a fashion that indicated she may give him the time of day.
(Then came the line that would live in infamy with he and his boy Shawn, who watched the plan get massacred as he worked beside Ry that Saturday afternoon)
"Yea, I just can't wait to get off today. We're like gargoyles in here, it's like we can't get any sunlight," Ry uttered, instantly realizing that any reference to a gargoyle may as well be synonymous with "famous last words" in the realm of courtship.
"Uh yea....well, see ya later," she said after a long confused pause, unsure of what to make of someone who used a word as awkward as "gargoyle" when talking to woman he may be attempting to get the digits of.
It's safe to say that Ry learned his lesson and never talked to girls about gargoyles after that experience. He remains awkward to this day, but believes that it's more in an endearing way and less of an uncomfortable one. Hopefully...
Anyways, let's talk pigskin, shall we?
(Apologies for this diary being a few days late, but as the cliche goes, "better late than never")
Hopefully, this will be the first of many, but it's very doubtful at this point. These things are difficult to put together. That and I feel like a thieving jerk for ripping off a Bill Simmons idea. But you know what, that lazy idiot would never do a draft diary for football, so I may as well carry this load on my own.
So yea, Jake and I went to the Stadium Grille in West Chester last Saturday so we could watch the Flyers completely fall apart after going up 3-0 early. That, and follow the NFL Draft, which I was not only diarying (that sounds remarkably like diarrheaing, although I don't think either one is a real word) but also doing my final project on for one of my classes. So I'm pretty much jotting down notes and frantically soaking up knowledge to the point I'm debating about even making the blog diary. But it had to be done. So here it is the first-ever 2009 Ry for Ry NFL Draft Diary.
3:45 - Jake and I get settled into a booth with a TV in it. Good food+good TV/restaurant set up= Good situation. I'm trying to get myself situated for writing this diary and my final project for my "Writing for Journalism" class.
Should be interesting.3:56 - Our reporters for this event are Erin Andrews (YES!) and Rachel Nichols (Ehh)...Is that really fair to Nichols? She probably already gets an unfair amount of criticism as an ESPN worker for not being as attractive as Andrews, and now they're sharing the stage for the afternoon. I'm an average looking guy I suppose, but I'm not trying to work next to Tom Brady for a day with millions of females watching. That's definitely going to bring down the hunk-ratings for me.
4:04 - Matt Stafford gets a Donovan McNabb-like welcome to the NFL. I didn't think that many people even watched the Lions, let alone traveled to the Draft to have their voice heard after the pick was made.
4:07 - We're informed that the Manning brothers sent a text, Apparently it was a joint one, at which point Jake and I speculate whether it was sent from Eli or Peyton's phone. I argue Peyton, because as the older brother, he clearly gets the majority of out-of-network texts on their family plan. As a side note, I love the commercial they did for ESPN, fighting with each other as their parents get a tour of the studio setup. Classic...
4:14 - Jason Smith goes to the Rams. No shock there. 6'5" 309. Isn't 309 a liiittle thin if you're talking about a tall offensive lineman? He'll put on some lbs I'm sure.
4:21 - Herm Edwards is breaking down the Chiefs draft telling us they're going to go to the 3-4 defense. (Insert Simmons-like joke about last year they had a 3-4 defense too. They were giving up 3-4 rushing touchdowns a game) They should definitely take Aaron Curry in my humble opinion
4:25 - Tyson Jackson the D-end out of LSU goes to KC. Curry quietly laughs as if saying to himself, "that's why they're the Chiefs"
4:30 - Jake and I agree on liking ESPN analyst Michael Smith, though neither of have any particular reason outside of, "he just seems like a good guy." Glad we're on the same page as usual.
4:32 - Seahawks take Curry. "10-time Pro Bowler, lock it up!" exclaims Jake. I honestly can't tell if he's serious or just throwing out bold predictions to keep us entertained.
4:34 - Curry is looking really sharp in a 3-piece pewter suit, and a neon green Seahawks hat which I oddly find cool-looking. The attention quickly shifts however to his right where we see Erin Andrews ready to conduct an interview.
4:38 - Lionshead is a good brew. Jake and I both nail the riddle on my cap.
S-M-T-W-R-F-S (with an arrow pointing to the "F") + 13th...tough one
4:40 - Jets trade up for Mark Sanchez!!! I'm furious Washington couldn't have blown it's entire draft future to get this bum. Some Jets fans cheer while some cry and
shout angrily. If I'm a Jets fan, you can bet I'm in the latter group.4:47 - Crosby puts one in net to tie the game. It's getting real quiet in here.
4:52 - Cincy takes Andre Smith out of 'Bama. Jake informs me that a report says that the Cards won't get a 1st round pick for Boldin. I continue to not understand how a top-5 receiver in the league (and probably the best in the league at getting YAC) is not worth a 1st and 3rd rounder which are complete question marks. Still, we don't know what Arizona really wants for him, I understand. And the truth of the matter is that they don't want to deal him.
4:56 - Darrius Heyward-Bey to Oakland!!! They don't go Maclin like every projection had. That's why projections don't mean a thing. Logic goes out the window when you're dealing with Al Davis.
4:59 - Our 46th camera shot in the last 3 minutes of a bewildered Michael Crabtree, who himself will end up being an average-good NFL receiver. Why? Cause Skip Bayless says so, that's why! Crabtree's sporting approximately 8 pounds of diamonds. That's situation's a little suspect
5:06 - Jags go O-Line and take Monroe out of Virginia. Mel Kiper thinks they avoided Crabtree after all their first round busts at wideout. Matt Jones, watching from home (or jail?) nods.
5:10 - Green Bay goes B.J. Raji. A rush defense that was 26th in the league drafting arguably the best DT in 09 class is a strong pick. I've only seen this kid play once, I think to myself. I realized how old I was and decided I now have the right to call players "kids"
5:11-6:12 - I get lazy and opt to put this up in one huge segment. In my defense, the draft is absurdly long and my other in-draft project is for a grade, so it's a little more important than my blog piece. Who am I kidding, we both know the blog comes before anything Temple-related, I'm just slacking off. Niners take Crabtree....Penn State product Maybin to Buffalo, as I instantly get a mental image of Boomer in his nittany lion hat and a Bills jersey....Knowshon to the Broncos, who apparently are going with a 7-back set. And everyone thought that it was only cause of Mike Shanahan that Denver never had a go-to back....Brian Orakpo to the Skins. Everyone either thinks this is the steal of the draft, or that the guy is going to be the number 1 bust of 2009. There's no in between that I've heard....San Diego surprises some people by going OLB Larry English with the 16th pick. I like it because if Merriman's healthy, sane, and steroid-free, the Chargers could have a top 3 pass rushing D in the league...Tampa trades up to get QB Josh Freeman out of Kansas St. Only time will tell, but I personally think this draft is a royal stinker for getting a QB in....creeping closer to the birds pick.....really creeping though....and theeeeen....
6:13 - Birds trade up 2 spots to Cleveland, and the excitement builds to see who they couldn't wait 2 picks for. Jeremy Maclin smiles wide, as apparently we got ourselves a wideout in the first round!
6:14 - WOW! I don't think one person alive saw this coming.
Maclin just started falling after Oakland threw in the towel for the 2009 season, and then BAM! He's wearing Eagle-green. I get a call from a confused Ben Caplan, and we agree to not really understanding the pick. Truth be told, we both wanted Boldin, it just didn't happen. It is definitely my own fault for getting high expectations for something that is very unlikely going to happen. Jake and I leave Stadium Grille, realizing we can make the drive back to H-Town and probably only miss 2 picks. Gotta love the NFL Draft!!!FOLLOW UP: I had a dream 4 nights after the draft that Jake and I are watching a Birds game and Maclin makes a nice grab. Jake makes a smart comment and I start hurling stuff at him. This escalates to a full-blown street fight between the two of us in the middle of Manoa Road, and then I wake up. This scenario could very well play out in real life, so I will make the following statement in conclusion:
I really, really like what the Birds did in the draft. Getting Ellis Hobbs for a couple of 5's is phenomenal. And Jason Peters is a product of this draft for us. Even if none of the picks turn out, if Hobbs and Peters both are as good as advertised, it's an extremely productive draft. Shady McCoy was a guy they may have taken in the first, and having him drop into the second closely resembles what happened with DeSean Jackson last year.
Maclin was the right pick in my opinion. Clearly the best player at that particular point in the draft at a position they had a need in. I'm a little unsure of whether this team is trying to win now or later. They're trying to do both at the same time, but that ultimately may lead to decent teams now and in the future, but no championship-caliber teams in either time frame. People have speculated that Maclin was picked so Kolb can have a strong receiving core when he eventually gets the QB job. I have no idea, no one really does for that matter. It's all speculation. My problems with the Eagles are generally more problems with theory and less about personel. That said, I am excited for the 2009 season, and am disappointed that we couldn't bring the face of our franchise back to share in what should, and hopefully will be, another playoff run. And how else could I possibly end this but with.....
E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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