Sunday Sweaty Sunday

Consider this my version of the U2 song. I actually don't like U2 at all, so consider this my way of trivializing one of their "classics" while simultaneously getting my point across. That point, in case you didn't already know, is that it was really hot today. And when the hotter months roll around, it means one thing for plentiful perspirers like myself: Sweat Season has arrived.

Even though sweating is a natural process, often times it's frowned upon in today's society. Everyone sweats at one point or another, but if you happen to be a heavier sweater than most, well, consider yourself an active participant in the loser parade. I heard that there's a pitcher in the Phillies minor league system that literally boosted attendence because of his unique ability to sweat inexplicable amounts. People were curious about it and came out to the ballpark. I wish I could increase my own marketability in such a way, but alas, this is not the case.

I've tried to convince myself that this problem is just due to poor conditioning, but I've learned that's not the case either. You see I'm a finely tuned machine in the summer months, at the height of the epidemic. I bust out 3-mile runs and countless sets of pushups on a regular basis. I hit my Jack LaLanne-like workout groove as hard as I hit my car dance groove when "Work That" by Mary J Blige is on. So there's not always a direct coorelation between physical shape and the amount you sweat. Different people get it in different places too. Feet, pits, back. The brow is bad for me, but we're going to take a step back awaaaaaay from the specifics.

One major problem with being real sweaty is that you can't just ignore it once you feel the original beads begin to form on the skin's surface. You start thinking about it, which only makes it worse. You may try to subtely wipe your brow (or other affected region) in an attempt to calm the storm. Not gonna happen my friend. Take it from me, a quick wipe is like putting a bandaid on a bullet wound. You may as well just do it overtly so as not to look like more of a fool. And God forbid you're around one of those miscreants who thinks it's a good idea to point it out to you in public. "Man you're really sweating there." Thank you, I was not aware that my pores were opening to the extent that I felt like I just stepped out of the shower. I think you drawing more attention to it will summon a cool breeze to flow past, completely refreshing me. Flawless logic. Over time, you figure out who these soulless creatures are and learn to avoid them during the worst of summer months and all other random heat waves.

As each brutally humid Philly summer passes, I become more versed in handling these sticky situations. Support from friends and acquaintances who share my affliction has also aided the process. And far be it from me to ever put myself in a place of secretion-induced seclusion. I'm gonna enjoy the summer as much as the next guy, but trust me, I'll have my moments here and there where staying in the air conditioning sounds far more appealing then venturing out into sweat-inducing terrain. Comprende? Glad we're on the same page.


A few Sunday ramblings before we part ways:

I was contemplating starting a niche-blog filled with DC Alum stories/gossip, like a Delco Christian Us Weekly. I had a few name ideas in mind, but my favorite was "Knights out at the Bars".....Is a grilled chicken caesar salad a healthy dinner option? I'd like to convince myself that it is, although I fear that I'm just pulling the wool over my own eyes in an attempt to masquerade as a moderately healthy eater.....I always have poetry floating through my head, and it's a welcome change in writing-style from the normal rant-format I follow methodically. Maybe I'll start incorporating a poem a week into this blog.....Speaking of poetry/songs/the Foo Fighters/random stuff. Lately, my favorite random thing to do is to take anything ending in an "eee" sound. Lee, knee, tree, sea etc. When one of these words come into conversation I burst into singing "Big Me" by Foo Fighters, only replacing the "me" with the other word in convo. For instance, if you told me, "ya know what, I'm gonna go make myself a cup of tea, you want one?" I would ignore your thoughtful question and burst into song, "BIG TEA, TO TALK ABOUT IT, I COULD STAND TO PROVE!!!!" Wow, I don't think anyone truly understands the full extent of my randomness.....I've been getting really into Seinfeld recently. I'm not sure what it is, but I think that with certain shows, there's a comfort level that is the backbone for your enjoyment of them. They've just been around for so long, something about them feels natural. Not taking anything away from the show's entertainment value, which is clearly high enough to be the sole reason for my recent addiction to it..... It's my last week of school!!!! The feeling a person gets when classes end for the summer is indescribable. This is why the idea of summer courses will always be an egregious one to me.


Enjoy your week fam, and of course I have to say, try not to sweat the small stuff...