Wandering Thoughts

Life's an odd bird. As slowly as time seems to pass on occasion, the whole beautiful, convoluted and crazy experience is over before you know it. I'm one night's sleep away from an extremely important 2-week stretch that will impact the following month dramatically. But after that month? Well, it will all just becomes a memory. Keeping this in mind as I sweat through projects, finals studies, and employment logistics is absolutely essential to sanity. Easier said than done.

Sunday night for me is always a mental roller coaster of sorts. My hopes, dreams and anxieties for the week to come are further packed into my head by feelings and reflections on the weekend upon its conclusion. I have a lot of trouble sorting it all out, and I end up getting a far from sleep-filled night most of the time. I wonder if this type of thing happens to all over-thinkers? I'd imagine anyone who battles anxiety loses their fair share of Z's. It's just built into that type of personality mold in my opinion. And if you don't have it, at least to some extent, then you don't really get it. The people who "don't get it" are the people who will say things like "don't worry about it" or "settle down". It's not their fault at all for not understanding. If people's minds process things completely differently, we can't all be expected to know how to deal with each other. Heck, if I don't know how to deal with what's going on inside the countless crevices of my brain, why should I expect anyone else to? Okay, this is getting vague and wordy, and I would attempt to get back on track, if of course, I had a track at all...

And maybe that's the point of this whole late night outburst. A lot of aspects of life really aren't making sense, because when you don't have a track/road/course to follow, you just end up in a maze of different experiences that don't feel like they're leading to any place in particular. Tolkien wrote that "not all who wander are lost". I'd know my wandering mode is leading to ultimate purpose, it's just difficult to see sometimes on those late Sunday nights when life is easy to over-think.