...WITH ION 4!!!

So I have the winter Olympics on in the background as I'm doing some work. (Figure Skating is on, which is Mom's favorite. She lives and dies on every gravity-defying move as my Dad eagerly waits for a epic fall to occur. One of the many ways they are without question perfect for each other. High comedy.) As I'm glancing up at the tele, I see a commercial for Powerade's new calorie-free sports drink. NEW, POWERADE ZERO....WITH ION 4!!!...

Maybe I'm the one American out of millions watching who's out of the loop, but what in the sam hill is ion 4?! Am I supposed to rush to my local supermarket immediately because this stuff has ion 4 in it? I'm still not totally sure I understand what electrolytes are (or buy their importance). And gatorade has been pushing electrolytes on me for years now. I should have stopped drinking gatorade all together when they discontinued their "lemon ice" flavor, which was my go-to for years. But how many idiots out there really think that sports drinks are going to drastically improve their athletic performance? As my doctor once said, the best sports drink for you on the market has always been, and will always be, water. Plus, when's the last time you heard of evidence to prove powerade zero helps to prevent kidney stones? Case and Point.

If I want my dose of Ion 4, I'll hit the local GNC, assuming of course that ion 4 actually exists. If I want to rehydrate after a run, I'll stick with the tried and true H20.