Thoroughly Thoughtful Thursday, Thankfully

Here are some random thoughts and questions from what has already been a pretty thought-provoking day. And by thought-provoking, I think I just mean odd.

-The first thing that anyone said to me in this calendar day was "thank you" at 12:04 this morning. The second thing at 12:07..."Do you know where the vomit kit is?"...needless to say, I did not

-Later in the day I heard a girl yelling at her Dad, telling him to "shut up, because you don't know what the hell you're talking about." I am absolutely shocked to hear someone talk to a parent like this, regardless of what was going on (it was, in fact, a trivial matter as one might have guessed). Shut up? To a parent? I'm not sure I would tell my parents to shut up jokingly. You better believe if my kid told me to shut up, the funds that paid for her tuition would very hastily be shut down. But that's the problem with people these days-they just don't have respect. Spankings have become child abuse in our lawsuit-happy, undisciplined culture. I have two inches and 60 pounds on my Paps, but I personally think if I said something to him like that girl said to her Dad, he would smite me down with ease, using all of his righteous "Dad anger". I wouldn't even have a chance. And I would deserve it too. Man...craziness.

-For how big a fan of my blog Jon Greenberg is, I'm kind of bothered he's not a subscriber. It sets a bad example to other people who read this propaganda and yet can't muster the strength to make a click of the mouse to subscribe. Jon, I love you, but you know as well as I do that it's times like this that you put the Booooooo in Booooooomer. What's the issue?

-My favorite punctuation mark is by faaaaaar is the ellipsis, if you haven't noticed...I love it...I use it in text messages and in blogs...heck I even think out those little groupings of dots between my different daydreams...

-I love Scrubs. I have watched seasons 1-7 approximately 68 times. My obsession with the show is at times irrational. I have forfeited important life experiences to watch mini marathons of the program by myself. It's bad. But this random fact is important for 2 reasons. 1)I have gone almost 2 weeks without watching a full episode, which literally has not happened since the day the show was introduced to me. 2)I wish that enough of the people who read this blog watched/knew the show as much as I do, so I could write entire posts about it. But alas, I have to write about other stuff. Maybe I'll start a second blog and never leave my room.

-Accents are funny. Since Temple thinks that 34% of their professors should be completely incomprehensible, they hire people who are not fluent in English for positions where it might come in handy to be such. Because of this fact, I have become awesome at getting messages through obstacles.
And while we're on the subject of people who talk differently....

-Is it possible to do an impression of a gay person through writing? *flicking wrist homosexually* "Thtop it thilly!! I soo do not thound like that! hehe"
And while we're on that subject....

-I literally put any future writing career I had in jeopardy by typing that last point. Nowadays, the homosexual community's power is getting out-of-hand. They are making moves to try and prevent people from speaking out against that lifestyle. Just speech against it. Hmm, well riddle me this...How can the same raging liberal population, that bring out first amendment rights as protection every other day, think it's not completely hypocritical to try and censor those who have differing views than them? Can't have it both ways...

Just some food for thought...but make sure to let it settle in your stomach. Apparently there's only one vomit kit, and I still have no idea where it is.

Things White People Aren't Allowed to Say/Do (Part 1)

So I'm giving you 2 for the money today, which is a pretty darn good deal given this inner monologue that I am constantly transcribing is free to begin with.


Again I sit in the Computer Lab, monitoring a new wave of white Temple students who think they're skin has suddenly changed to a caramel tone because they now attend school in North Philly. I overhear certain things in conversation, and just shake my head, resigned to the fact that humans have such a hard time finding a stinkin' identity (myself included). And listen, we're all guilty of speaking differently on occasion around different groups of people. It's adaptation, and often times it's subconscious. The people who are getting called out are the ones who make a collective effort to speak differently, despite the fact it sounds absurd.

Instead of decapitating these idiots, I'm going to take the peaceful, more anger-management inclined road, and simply break down why I think that their patterns of speech are fatally flawed. So without further adieu-doo, I give you a new segment on Green Bleeding...Things that white people shouldn't say or do.

1) The N-Word
African Americans shouldn't even be saying this word. And obviously, white people shouldn't say it in a biggoted way. But the fact black people use it casually does not under any circumstances justify a white person using it while talking to one of his friends. Absolutely unacceptable. And yes, I do hear this happen way more than one might think. It is to the ear what beets are to the tastebuds. STOP SAYING THE N-WORD ALL YOU IDIOTS!!!!!!!!

2) Adding "yo" to the end of a sentence
This is verbal diarrhea in every circumstance except when making fun of someone else who is saying it in a serious manner. This was the thing that sparked this particular post from me tonight. Some kid was talking to his friend and said something to the affect of, "I think I did that assignment for tomorrow, yo." Well you know what, I think if your speech is an indicator of how you are going to do on the assignment you're turning in, the teacher may as well stamp "F...Moron" on it and save himself the time...yo.

3) Holla
Any girl with class probably won't appreciate being "holla'd" at, so pleeeease, don't say anything involving that broad holla'n at you. It sounds stupid regardless of skin color, but 10000 times worse when a corny little white boy starts saying it because he thinks that people in the suburbs can also live thug life. And trust me, I know I may be beating a dead horse with the "holla" thing, but I assure you it's needed, and I'm going to beat it till TU whities get the message or PETA gets in here, whichever comes first.

Wonderful, glad we cleared that up!
Till we meet again faithful reader...
Your eyes surveying my words are like carnival funnel cake when I have a sweet tooth on a mid-summer night.

Cereal Killer (One Box at a Time)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2vyi7dGyupw

I hope you followed the link above and watched the video to get you pumped for reading this blog entry. And if you're keeping score from home, that is the second link I have sent you to a youtube video featuring the "Milk and Cereal" song by my man G. Love. If you didn't peek at the clip, it's all good. Sometimes, you don't need anything to get you fired up for a good cereal read. It just comes naturally...

The ingenious "cereal draft" idea that you've heard floating around once was a dream. I am making it my personal goal for 2009 to make this dream a reality. One problem I faced was this: Once the draft is over, there's really no way to chart each team's cereal progress or statistical measure to have a clear-cut winner. Then it dawned on me...it's a cereal draft. Everyone is a winner!

I say we have this draft at a pub sometime during peak grain-harvesting season. Anyone who thinks that they're a breakfast aficionado can join the draft. The more variety of people we get in this draft, the better. Could you imagine a 55-year-old going off the board and taking All-Bran in the fifth round? Or maybe an 8-year-old taking Trix with the 4th overall pick? (Not sure why an 8-year-old would be at a pub with us, but throwing it at ya anyway) It would add another dimension completely.

This event would get pretty intense. Could you imagine if you were picking 7th and really wanted Rice Krispies, but the person picking 6th snap-crackle-popped those suckers from right under you? It would get really ugly. The arguments over who would have the best cereal team would also get heated, because really, we're making up the standards for squads as we go along. Me personally, I think I would draft a cereal team that was well rounded. For instance, if I had Froot Loops and Frosted Flakes, I may have to think about taking a healthier box in the third round, like Cheerios, to balance it out. (I'm not saying that Cheerios would go that late, just giving an example of a complimentary cereal in that particular draft position) I am salivating over the thought of making this draft happen, or maybe I'm just salivating at the thought of a bowl of Frosted Mini-Wheats.

I snagged a Cereal List off of wikipedia and did some editing. If you think I'm missing anything important, please chime in. We're only drafting cereals that are currently on the active rosters of companies like General Mills and Kellogg's. Actually, I take that back. Bonus points if you go historical on us and pull out a zinger like Quakers "Mr.T Cereal" (see below) Demonstrating to the public how savvy you are about cereal is never a bad thing.

Speaking of some classics, check out these monumental breakfast concoctions from a prehistoric era:


Banana Frosted Flakes? This is the breakfast of the outside-the-box thinker. Look's like Tony's done some growing up over the years too.



Product 19? Seriously? If this doesn't sound like some sort of PEC(Performance Enhancing Cereal), I really don't know what does. This has to be a banned substance in the majors, right?




This sounds delicious to me, and I have no idea why. It seems like a very mentally stimulating breakfast. I feel also that these would be great morning munchies for any Real Estate big wig. I could be overthinking this...



If we still had cereal like this around, the world would be a better place.




Yes, to answer your question, I did save the best for last. D&D Cereal? Are you for real?!?! I could drive around in a car shaped like a big doughnut with a Double Ds emblem on it and be happy as Pacman Jones in a strip joint. If only this cereal were around today, I'd probably carry a box with me wherever I went, like a security blankee or something. After all, D&D anything makes me feel safe.



And here's the Big List:

A
• All-Bran - Kellogg's (1916-Present)
• Alpha-Bits - Post Cereals (1958-present)
• Apple Cinnamon Cheerios - General Mills (1988-Present)
• Apple Jacks - Kellogg's (1965-Present)
B
• Banana Nut Crunch - Post Cereals (1993-Present)
• Berry Berry Kix - General Mills (1992-Present)
• Berry Krispies - Kellogg's (2006-Present)
• Berry Lucky Charms - General Mills (2006-Present) [1]
• Blueberry Morning - Post Cereals (1990s-Present)
• Body Buddies - General Mills (1980s)
• Boo Berry - General Mills (1973-Present)
• Bran Flakes - Kellogg's - (1915-Present)
C
• Cap'n Crunch - Quaker Oats (1963-Present)
• Cap'n Crunch Crunch Berries - Quaker Oats (1967-Present)
• Cap'n Crunch's Oops! Choco Donuts - Quaker Oats (2003-2004)
• Captain Planet Cereal (1984)
• Cat in the Hat Cereal - Kellogg's (2003-2004)
• Ceccettio's - Italian localization of General Mills Cheerios.
• Cheerios - General Mills (1941-Present)
• Choco Crunch (Re-introduced Version) - Quaker Oats (2007-Present)
• Chocolate Lucky Charms - General Mills (2005-Present)
• Christmas Crunch - Quaker Oats (1988-Present)
• Cinnamon Life - Quaker Oats (1978-Present)
• Cinnamon Toast Crunch - General Mills (1984-Present)
• CoCo Wheats - Little Crow Foods (1930-Present)
• Coco Krispies - Kellogg's
• Cocoa Krispies Choconilla - Kellogg's (2007-Present)
• Cocoa Pebbles - Post Cereals (1970-Present)
• Cocoa Puffs - General Mills
• Cookie Crisp (1977-Present)
• Corn Chex
• Corn Pops - Kellogg's (1951-Present. Originally known as Sugar Pops.)
• Corn Flakes - Kellogg's (1907-Present)
• Count Chocula - General Mills (1971-present)
• Cracklin' Oat Bran Kellogg's
• Cream of Wheat
• Crispix - Kellogg's - (1980s-Present)
D-E
• Double Chocolate Cookie Crisp - General Mills (2006-Present)
• Eggo Cereal Cinnamon Toast - Kellogg's (2006-Present)
• Eggo Cereal Maple Syrup - Kellogg's (2006-Present)
F
• Franken Berry - General Mills (1971-Present)
• French Toast Crunch - General Mills (1995-Present)
• Froot Loops - Kellogg's (1964-Present)
• Frosted Cheerios - General Mills (1995-Present)
• Frosted Flakes - Kellogg's (1952-Present)
• Frosted Mini-Wheats (Various flavors) - Kellogg's
• Fruit Loops - Kellogg's (1963-Present)
• Fruity Cheerios - General Mills (2006-Present)
• Fruity Pebbles - Post Cereals (1970-Present)
G-L
• Golden Crisp (formerly known as Sugar Crisp) - Post Cereals (1949-Present)
• Golden Grahams - General Mills (1970s-Present)
• Grape-Nuts - Post Cereals
• Honey Bunches of Oats (1989-Present)
• Honey Bunches of Oats with Peaches (2005-Present)
• Honey Bunches of Oats with Strawberries (2002-Present)
• Honey Bunches of Oats with Chocolate Clusters (2008-Present)
• Honey Bunches of Oats with Cinnamon Clusters (2006-Present)
• Honey Bunches of Oats with Vanilla Clusters (2007-Present)
• Honeycomb - Post Cereals (1965-Present)
• Honey Nut Cheerios - General Mills
• Honey Nut Corn Flakes - Kellogg's - (1981-Present)
• Honey Rice Krispies - Kellogg's - (1996-Present)
• Kix - General Mills (1937-Present)
• Life - Quaker (1960s-Present)
• Lucky Charms - General Mills
M-Q
• Mini Swirlz Cinnamon Bun Cereal - Kellogg's - (2005-Present)
• Mueslix - Kellogg's (1980s-Present)
• Multi-Bran Chex
• Peanut Butter Crunch - Quaker Oats (1969-Present)
• Product 19 - Kellogg's (1967-Present)
R
• Raisin Bran - Kellogg's - (1950-Present)
• Raisin Bran Crunch - Kellogg's (1999-Present)
• Reese's Puffs - General Mills (1994-Present)
• Rice Chex - General Mills
• Rice Krispies - Kellogg's - (1929-Present)
• Rice Krispies Treats Cereal - Kellogg's (1993-Present)
S
• Shredded Wheat - Post Cereals
• Smacks - Kellogg's
• Special K - Kellogg's (1955-Present)
• Special K Red Berries - Kellogg's (2001-Present)
T-Z
• Total - General Mills (1961-present)
• Trix - General Mills (1954-Present)
• Uncle Sam Cereal - U.S. Mills (1908 - Present)
• Waffle Crisp - Post Cereals (1996-Present)
• Wheat Chex
• Wheaties - General Mills - "The Breakfast of Champions" - (1924-Present)

The Happiest I Will EVER Look Next to a Cowboys Fan

So I was going through some old pictures and stumbled across the one below.



I always forget about this picture because it's so random. One of the very few Cowboys fans that I call a friend, Eddie Doyle and I went to High School together and are both currently attending Temple University. This picture never ceases to crack me up for a few reasons.

1) The two of us are boys, for sure, but neither of us would consider the other one of his closest friends. The look of pure jovial amusement on both our faces would make one believe otherwise. I have no idea what was so hysterical, but this pic was no doubt the embodiment of a "kodak moment".

2) Eddie and I dated sisters while attending Delco Christian. This picture was taken at the sisters' Mother's wedding 2 years ago. We had both been at least 3 years removed from our relationships with each sister, yet were both honored to get the invite.

3) There's another picture that someone else took later in the night of me playing an acoustic guitar, apparently serenading my inebriated compadre. Definitely a bromance photo, but a hilarious counterpart to the one above. (It's floating around the wide world of facebook)

4) I thought it would be completely random for anyone reading this who knows Eddie. And I really have very few blog ideas after an extremely exhausting day.

Uninterested, not Anti-social

Recently, I have been picking and choosing my spots conversationally. In any social setting, I will decide whether or not it's worth the effort to converse with people I don't really know too well. I think you reach a point in life where you find out that getting along with people who aren't your friends is a necessary evil, but that certainly doesn't mean you have to make the effort in every circumstance. Let me explain, and if you don't need an explanation, then just let me rant doggone it!!

Over the past half decade, I've realized that there are three types of people when it comes to social settings. The first group consists of people who are just social with everyone naturally for whatever reason. Whether they find their niche in getting along with everyone or just have a talkative disposition, these people are always chatting it up with whoever crosses their path. The second group, as you could predict, is completely the opposite. They're the shy/quiet/generally reserved bunch who just don't find it enjoyable to speak and will only do so when it's completely of the essence to. Then you have group 3, of which there are infinite subgroups. The inbetweeners.

(I know that last paragraph was so astute and filled with groundbreaking insights that you are foaming at the mouth to see what's coming next. I assure you I will get to the point)

I am an inbetweener, but if I really wanted to be, I could fit into either of the first 2 groups. The reason I'm not in the quiet group is that it just does not fit my personality whatsoever. So that narrows it down to the always-social group and the tweeners. Here, my friends, is where I get to the crux of this post...

For me, getting along with people who I don't consider friends comes down to one thing: Do I want to flip my social-switch to the "on" setting? On rare occasion, I'll meet someone I click with and conversation with just come naturally. But the other 98.6% of the time, I have to decide whether it's really worth my trouble. Let me give you a recent example of this.

I was hanging with an amigo recently in a setting that is as anti-Ryan as they come. A few fluzies that he knew came up and started chatting. After approximately 4 minutes, I realized that these were not people that I wanted to turn the social switch on for. So I checked out mentally, thinking about what cereal I would pick if I had the first overall choice in a "Cereal Draft" (which we MUST do at some point). Not only was this thought process far more intelligent and entertaining than the conversation going on, but I saved the time and energy that would have gone to waste had I decided to turn it on.

It's not always as easy as turning it off and on though. You can't just flip the switch back and forth as you please. It takes discernment to figure out when it's necessary and when it's just plain pointless. Remember the old urban legend that you could start a fire if you flipped a light switch on and off enough times repeatedly. Well the damage you can cause your dome-piece if you're wreckless with your social-switch is far from myth my friend. You put that puppy on in a bad situation, and there will often times be consequences.

Here are a few times when turning it on is a must:
--Meeting a pretty close friend of a friend
--Meeting the family of a significant other(when you don't need the switch and it just comes completely naturally in this situation, you may have something special)
--Any sort of job setting, whether at work or at an interview


...you get the point. So to reiterate, if I ever seem to be distant in a new social setting, don't think it's because I don't have the social skillz to pay the billz. Cause I could pay for my billz then cover a few other folks too. I pick and choose my spots and if that switch isn't on it's because I'm just uninterested, not anti-social.

(The writer of this blog does not take responsibility for any hours of your life wasted reading his preposterous drivel. He does, however, thank you for supporting him on his mission to change the universe, or at least the Delware Valley, one post at a time)

Jesus-Blog

Since I am currently up-to-date on all my blog-friends' postings, I figured I may as well write something. So here are a few thoughts as one of the craziest weeks of my life comes to a close...


...If facebook had a "life status" like it has a relationship status, mine would certainly not read "it's complicated." (Technically speaking, it wouldn't actually exist because I did away with my facebook a week ago, but that's extraneous to this post) Last week, it may have been complicated, and I suppose that there's always going to be something in one's life at any given time that's not crystal clear. Today, however, I'm starting to hit my groove with a fresh perspective after reestablishing Christ in my life. I was at a place at this same time one week ago that was the darkest I have ever encountered (I should tell you about it sometime), and I couldn't be more grateful for that time, because through it I got back on track. My faith has always been a struggle for me in the past, and professing it has been equally, if not more, difficult. Maybe that's why I'm starting off with mentioning my faith. So that I can start to break myself of my inability to stand for Truth, disregarding both circumstances and predisposition to keeping my mouth shut. I am a Christian. That is ultimately the only thing that holds any weight once I am six-feet under. If you believe in the same Savior as I do, please keep me in your prayers. And if you don't believe in him, know that even as I write this, you are in mine...


...It's refreshing to have a relationship end in a way that's not filled with anger or hatred for the other person. Break-ups can get absurdly ugly sometimes. I have seen, and been a part of, many that fit that script, and am glad that this was not one of them. The fact is, I love my ex, and wish her the best, and hope that we continue to be in each other's lives to some degree when the time is right. God has blessed her with some amazing qualities, and I continue to pray that he utilizes those qualities for his purpose...



...the Phillies season opener is 30 minutes away and I couldn't possibly be more excited for it. I can't imagine them not repeating. That prediction is not with my heart either, it's with my head. They have a perfect balance of personalities, complimentary skill-sets, youthful energy and experienced leadership that form a sporting juggernaut. On top of them being absolutely stacked and poised for another title run, Opening Day/Night is always one of my favorite times of the entire year. It ushers in spring with the help of the NCAA Tourney (Congrats to Villanova on a great season, and providing me with the best basketball game I have EVER watched in their elite-eight win over Pitt) Comcast sportsnet and 17(whatever the heck its called now) both were airing "The Perfect Season" video to get the masses more pumped than ever for the game tonight. Mission Accomplished boys, I am ready to go!!!!!!!!...


...to conclude, I'm finally starting to become a man, because, well, I'm finally understanding what makes a man. But this is a subject for a whole nother blog entry. Enjoy the game tonight people. I'm going to make the same predicition I do every year. 162-0, with an 11-0 playoff run to boot. Besides, we gotta get all those people who missed the first parade to witness the 2009 one first hand, don't we?

C-R-E-E-P-Y & Sweet Pea

Thank you, Comcast! I can now safely say that I have trouble sleeping at night. It's not cause of the monsters under my bed. Those guys left along time ago when they realized there was literally no space to live in under there. See my idea of cleaning my room is swiping as much random crap as I can under the bed, then throwing away or donating the stuff I don't use that won't fit in the former residence of the monsters. But I'm getting away from my original point, shocking I know.

Anyways, Comcast Cable/Internet/Phone/Everything-else-electronic Provider decided they'd like to go a different route with their advertising campaign. The creepy route. They air commercials where random zombied-out people are singing monotone songs about things you see on acid trips, the punchline C-O-M-C-A-S-T. Truthfully, it's terrifying. (I could go on a rant about how people nowadays are becoming technological zombies who need fresh air, sun, and an imagination, but I'll spare you...for now) Could they really not come up with a better advertising campaign than this painfully weird song that just spurts out lyrics about nothing-in-particular? I know I'm not alone in this because everyone I've seen these bizzaro commercials with shudders as violently as I do upon taking the nonsense in. Maybe you could say it works because I'm talking about the company, but I personally wouldn't get Comcast after watching these ads. This can't possibly help their already awful public image with a lot of the people who use them as their cable provider. (I don't have cable, I know it's crazy. Seriously though, I don't think I've heard one positive word uttered about people who have theirs provided by this company. For this reason, I wouldn't use them anyway, but the creepy ads are exactly suckering me in either) I just do not understand it. Maybe there's someone out there who could explain it to me.

On the completely opposite end of the spectrum you have possibly the sweetest, most affective advertisement I've ever seen. The ad has been on for over a year, and it still runs frequently, proving that the company has seen results and/or received positive feedback from it. Me and Dan/DJ/DanJosh/Ned(New Edgy DJ)/D-Nuts/LG/DayJota (or whatever else you may choose to call him) made our love of the commercial public together, even though guys aren't supposed to get suckered in by cheesy stuff like that.

OK, on to the actual commercial for Cingular/AT&T. Daughter around the age of 4 runs up to her Dad with his briefcase as he's about to leave for work, and gives him a big hug. As Dad opens it on the way to work, he sees his daughter has put her favorite stuffed animal, a monkey, to remind him of her. As Dad goes through his workday, he sends her a variety of picture messages with the monkey in all the different settings he passes through. In the background, you see various subtle signs for the company (bars of service). Eventually he sends a picture of the monkey in front of their house, and the daughter runs out to give him a big hug upon returning. The whole commercial has this stellar song playing in the background called "Sweet Pea" by Amos Lee. (GREAT SONG!! DOWNLOAD THAT JAWN RIGHT NOW IF YOU DON'T HAVE IT!!!) Not only is the song beautiful, but it compliments the theme of the commercial well, which gets the product name out there without throwing it in your face, and shows why you need their product. You want to think, "that is sooo cheesy" but you can't cause it's just too cute to be, and any self-respecting man would admit to loving his daughter like that without it being corny in the least bit. Brilliant advertising scheme! They have me sold...well to a point, because I'm already on the Verizon Network, and I'm on a family plan. But if I didn't, I'd be seriously considering AT&T.




So moral of the story: Good advertising is genuinely adorable and does make you want to start using a night light again.