Resolutions Update

So it's common practice to make a New Years Resolution, and I decided to kick off a less than impressive blog-year by making a few of my own. As commonly as resolutions are made, however, they are rarely followed up on. People don't want to make a promise to get fit in January, then openly admit a few months later that they actually put on some LBs. The bottom line is that keeping people up to date on one's shortcomings is a great way to monitor both shrinking in the waistline department and growth in the character one. So hear we go, with one third of the year already ancient history, I'm going to do a little status check on my resolutions...


Resolution: GRADUATE!!!
Status: Check baby!!! I finally did it and could not be happier. It was the number 1 resolution on my list, and I can say that it was achieved. To give you some perspective on what a historic accomplishment this was, and more specifically how long it took, When my college career began:
--George Bush was the President
--Army Fatigues had successfully made a comeback (and I swear I brought them back, for better or for worse)
--My Sister couldn't legally drink, heck she could barely get into a rated R movie
--I had never worked with a disabled person in any capacity, and as a matter of fact, had worked one job for my entire life.
--I weighed in the 180 range
--I did not have a facebook account, and not because I knew facebook was evil, but because I was not aware of its existence
--"Oops I Did it Again" by Britney Spears topped the charts...well maybe not, but I'm sure that Britney was still somewhat relevant
--I had not seen a Philadelphia Sports Championship in my lifetime. Wow...I will give you a second to let that sink in...

My sister and I rag on each other about pretty much everything, so naturally she's a pro at taking shots at my inability to graduate before her. Keeping in mind that we are both fielding congratulations on our respective collegiate achievements, one of the funniest things that happens now is how we get congratulated. She noted that the people are so pleasantly surprised that I actually finished that I get louder remarks, bigger smiles, and overall greater vigor from people complementing me on my accomplishment than she does. So its, "Congrats Kirsten, great job!" followed by something like, "I am sooo proud of you Ryan!! I knew you would eventually make it! You have a bright future ahead you just had to get past this big bump in the road!! We are so inspired by your perseverance!!!" It is high comedy, let me tell you.

The previous paragraph reminds me, I forgot to include something in my "Goodbye Temple" blog. Many, many, many thanks to all the lovely people who helped me along the tumultuous road to the finish line. The amount of love that I have felt recently has been incredible, but more on that soon in an upcoming blog.


Resolution: I am fully resolved to take a flight out to Chicago to visit Tommy Boy, and catch a game at historic Wrigley Field.
Status: 10 days till my Southwest flight leaves Philly for the Windy City! I bought my Cubbies tickets and could not possibly be more pumped up for the game and for the trip in general. I told Tommy Boy that it would totally happen, and it certainly is.

Resolution: Mas blogos por favor!
Status: Okay, the ball was dropped on this one, there's just no getting around it. In my defense, this resolution was very low on the priority list, and I should be able to step up my blogging game a bit since college is officially a thing of the past. Although I do fear the loss of my job at the Computer Lab (with my Temple departure) will hurt my output during certain months of the year. Still, onward and upward as far as posting the irrelevant details of my life goes.

Resolution: I will have a six-pack by summer.
Status: Definitely a "fail" to this point. While I did find times to regularly work out during the majority of the school year, my eating habits towards the end of the semester were awful, and the importance of getting in perfect shape was put in perspective by a multitude of other far more significant things. I will always be a fit dude, but looking like a cover model for Men's Health isn't an aspiration that I will ever hold. It's great to be healthy, but there's line between doing something for health and doing something for vanity, and if I'm being totally honest, it gets blurred for me. That probably sounds like a total copout for "I just got lazy and didn't make it happen" but either way I think it holds truth. I still have to get off my keester and get back into running mode, as that improves my quality of life across the board.

Totally random side note and true story: My dad just walked into my room, laid down on the floor to hang out with me and chat for a bit, and after 3-5 minutes of talking fell sound asleep. As I type this, he is out like a light with his head partially underneath a stool. This situation could not describe him better in a nutshell.

Resolution: I want to complete all my unfinished original works, write a few more, and freestyle at least 2 times with random groups of brothas.
Status: This one is far from complete, but I will say that the future is bright as far as these things go, and I think I will be able to get an "A" in regards to this resolution by year's end. I work with a handful of guys who can spit some, and with many more who can appreciate good raw (and white) talent. I am excited at the prospect of some summer barbeques to showcase my Eminem-like whiteboy skill set...On the musical side of things, this semester killed most of my guitar time, and I was not able to do much with my written work. That said, I feel confident that my lyrical lows are behind me (embodied by one unfortunate song in particular) and summer will bring a renewed dedication to my "Making-the-acoustic-guitar-not-a-lame-chick-attracting-gimmick" mission.

Resolution: I will be a man and approach/get digits of a dame that I'm digging.
Status: While I did succeed in this a few times, my perspective changed totally on this. A few less-than-impressive additions to my dating résumé made me realize that when it comes to approaching women when I'm out with friends, less is more. And by "less is more," I mean never is more. My interest in drawing the attention of females is at an all-time low. Okay, that's definitely overstating the point, but let me explain. I'm trying to avoid situations where I will either waste money on taking a loser out on a date, or become smitten over a girl who I know ultimately has no shot at being the future Mrs.Lewis. There's no point in leading someone on or in tricking myself into thinking that any sort of casual romantic relationship is a good idea. "Casual" is a word that only has positive connotations when it refers to an outfit choice. The most important things in life require passion, commitment and dedication, all words that can not correspond with casual. Back to my point: sweating the process of finding a love interest is not worth it, even though inevitably everyone does it, or has done it, at some point or another. If I have confidence in myself, remain somewhat social, and trust God's plan for my life,

Resolution: Find a home church.
Status: I think when I wrote my resolutions I was losing sight of what really mattered as far as church went: Just being there consistently. Not attending church on a reg is a very bad idea if you claim to follow Christ. There are a million reasons to not go to church, and I think I've used just about every one at some point in varying moments of spiritual laziness. It comes down to to the fact that Christians need to regularly be in worship and fellowship with other believers to strengthen their own faith, and to have some sense of accountability. You're not a Christian because you go to church, but you do go to church because you're a Christian, as corny as that may sound. The church I grew up in is by no means perfect, and may not even be the right church for me long term, but right now it is my home church, and it's where I'm supposed to be.

Resolution: Survive Desmond till June.
Status: Next to graduating, I am most proud of this accomplishment. I was very close to ditching this gig and finding another, and it was only by God's grace that I remained with Dezzy. Sticking through the rough start proved to be totally worth it, as Des is a reformed youngster nowadays, and though he still has some bad moments here and there, the transformation in his personality has made him unrecognizable to a lot of people. I'm at the point now where I actually want to stay with him longer than I'm actually able to. The kid finds ways to crack me up on a daily basis, and the staff that I work with is a cast of characters that I've grown extremely fond of over the past 4 months. My work day goes approximately 425 times faster than the average person's, and as I've mentioned already in passing, there's always something new to laugh about. I really have to bust out a "Ways you know you have a great/awful job" blog because I feel I have infinite wisdom on the subject at this point in my life.

Resolution: Play one game of beer pong with V-Dub Wright.
Status: Plenty of time left to get this one accomplished and bring our career record to 2-0. I did not have a picture of Val rocking a random pair of sunglasses she found as I did with Desmond, but you can be sure if I did have one, it would be the perfect end to this blog post.



Problem Solved. Good day friends!

Things I Don't Trust (Part 4)

If you haven't read parts uno, dos o tres, the links are listed below if you feel like catching up on my moderately organized drivel...

Part 1 - http://ryforry.blogspot.com/2009/01/things-i-dont-trust.html

Part 2 - http://ryforry.blogspot.com/2009/02/things-i-dont-trust-part-2.html

Part 3 - http://ryforry.blogspot.com/2009/05/things-i-dont-trust-part-3_08.html


Ok, on to the issues...




18) Girls Who Use the F-Bomb Excessively
Let's face it, anyone who uses excessive profanity is at very least somewhat obnoxious to be around, but for whatever reason, girls with especially bad potty-mouths seem to make me cringe a little more. Getting deeper into it, "fuck" is hardly acceptable to say in cases of extreme emotional outpouring let alone in casual conversation. Though I do not think it's morally right for myself or anyone to swear, I actually am not personally bothered by any cursing if it's used in certain contexts. I understand people get caught up in the heat of the moment sometimes, heck I know I do. I actually think it's attractive when a girl gets fired up enough to drop some 4-letter zingers if it happens relatively infrequently. But when it gets to the point that a girl in one of my classes was at last semester, it becomes completely repulsive. This girl would sit there, whining about anything and everything in her life (which also was annoying) while outputting more Fs than an unprepared student. I've never seen someone so physically attractive to me initially transform to look so indescribably hideous in a matter of minutes. And while I'm on the subject of cursing, I have to get into cursing and comedy. I have been trying to eliminate doing anything funny that is only funny because it has a carefully planted/specifically emphasized curse. Dane Cook is one of many comics who have made a living off of yelling curse words in punchlines to get cheap laughs out of mediocre material. (I should clarify, the material he actually did not steal from other comedians) This is also a gimmick professors use to get students approval/attention. It lacks creativity, and it butchers language, and I therefor withdraw trust from excessive f-bomb droppers, especially of the female variety.


19) Girls Who Talk About Their BFs Way Too Much
Last female-related one before this starts sounding like a "boys rule, girls drool" entry. Boys and girls both rule and drool on occasion, but boys usually don't talk incessantly about their girlfriends when the conversation does not warrant it whatsoever. I had a class last semester (and came to the realization that I had a least one every semester I was in school) where girls would drop the fact that they had a boyfriend into discussions about writing form or job hunting. There is no better way for a girl to scream "I AM TOTALLY INSECURE!!!" than to bring up the fact that she is not single repeatedly. There was one main culprit in this regard among the many last semester that stood out. She separated herself by repeatedly mentioning her boyfriend when it was completely irrelevant to the discussion, and finished the semester by coming to class drunk and crying (or leaving for portions of class to cry) for the final 2 weeks. Her friend, who also came to class smashed on a reg, informed me and another guy that her boyfriend was being a total jerk and that he actually always had been. Sorry if it makes me insensitive, but I could never trust that type. (Side story: The girls who regularly came to class drunk sat on one side of the room and the majority who came sober sat in the middle or on the opposite side. There were 4 guys total in this class. We sat in the back and watched as the sober side seethed with anger more and more every class as the drunk side became louder and more obnoxious with each passing week. It got to the point where there were a few shouting matches, and more than a few evenings where the sausage quartet would sit in the back and be thankful we weren't involved....high comedy)


20) My Cellphone
My phone currently shuts off randomly for no reason. Something must be wrong with the battery, but whatever the case, it's clear that I'm going to be running from a deranged homeless man with a machete and pull out my phone to call the cops for help only to find it shut off. Instead of trying to turn the phone on however, I'll probably be so annoyed that it's dead, my blurred judgment will cause me to angrily hurl it, thus rendering me incapable of being found so someone can ID the body. Merciful Heavens!


21) My Own Mind Thinking Up Lame Analogies
Recently I find myself subconsciously finding analogous ways to say/think about everything. Case and point, which is also applicable to blogging: Name dropping in the blogosphere. I feel like a little kid, and Liz and Briggsy are my parents. When I drop their names in a blog, I'm the tyke who is performing a song on stage. I see them and neglect my theatrical duties and instead ecstatically smile and wave at them in the crowd till they acknowledge me. When they drop mine, it's like the "nice-work pal" pat on the head or the "great-job sport" ikeem cone. I would say that I have an inferiority complex since I'm referring to myself as a tot in my own head, but the thing is, this is just one of the numerous absurd analogies my mind has been cooking up recently. I'll blame it on my "hippie" days at Delco Christian.


22) Not Having a Pooping Comfort Zone
My sis says I am way too liberal in bringing up crap convo. I would tend to agree with her, and though I have already posted an entirely blog devoted to defecation, I have to make another point on the issue. How can someone be fine going in a public bathroom? Maybe there isn't anyone in existence who enjoys dropping trou when they're outside of a private restroom, but if people like that do exist, I certainly don't trust them. The reason this comes up now is thanks to my little Caribbean love child Desmond's. He took his first dump since I joined the staff at Elwyn, which is mind boggling considering how much he eats, but I digress...he says "Wyan, hafta bafwoom...booboo" I'm thinking the kid is saying he fell when we were last in there and got hurt, but no, he in fact had to take his first "booboo" ever on my watch. We go in, with me still reeling from the fact that he does poop. We get in and he yells from the stall "cldothes off" which is Desmond for "clothes off". I'm not sure what he's talking about but my suspicion is later confirmed by his old teacher that he indeed likes to dump all his clothes on while he is, well...doing some dumping of his own. "Nah Des, keep your clothes on buddy," I respond reassuringly, yet quietly knowing from personal experience that it won't be as good for him since he's not totally in his element. "Wyan...cldose door" (Ryan...close the door). The stall door being shut, I naturally respond, "the door is closed Des." He responds in frustration, "No...get out...cldose bafwoom door". In that moment my respect for my little man shot skyward. He is no different from me. Would I want someone standing in the bathroom waiting for me while I'm trying go #2? Of course not. I immediately respect his wishes and wait outside the bathroom door until I hear him shout "I'm dooone." Let's not lose the moral of the story though. Everyone has (or at least should have) a comfort zone when it comes to using the can. Though Desmond and I may differ in skin color, age, and speed at which we resort to violence when we don't get our way, he gained my trust through his desire for being in his comfort zone when taking the Browns to the Super Bowl.

Goodbye Temple

Well, it's finally over.

Wow, those words look as spectacular in print as they sounded when I yelled them out to an amused classroom and a visibly annoyed professor as I handed in my last final as a Temple University Undergraduate student. I am having trouble putting into words how I feel about this monumental portion of my life, so my apologies for being scatterbrained, although this differs little from my normal writing pre-blog hiatus. I will make no attempt to "list" my subject matter below or categorize anything I will touch on, so as to pay homage to my college career: Chaotic and reckless, but ultimately reaching a final destination.

Let me begin by saying that there couldn't be a more poetic end to my time at Temple U. I'm serving my final shift in an empty Johnson & Hardwick Computer Lab as I write this, while sipping on my third free Dunkin Donuts iced coffee of the day. The only way my time on campus could end more appropriately is if I had to walk through a rally for a disgusting liberal cause to get to my car on the way out (which is still a distinct possibility). I must say that the work study at J&H that I've been doing for the past 3-4 years has been a total Godsend. I've gotten paid to get homework done, chat with some interesting people, get internet time, and work out (while in the adjacent Fitness Center I also worked in). Granted, there have been times where everything's breaking down and spoiled students are complaining about the facilities, but I still feel it's been the easiest job I've ever worked, and just a perfect compliment to any student's busy schedule.

Speaking of schedules, my packed one this semester couldn't have possibly worked out better. One thing I've learned about myself is that the busier I am on a daily basis, the more productive I am with my free time. Working with Desmond every day, although very mentally and physically strenuous, totally toughened me up for the challenges I faced in the hours I wasn't being maimed by him. I really should have been doing school at night and online for my entire time here and working during the day. I wouldn't be in the poorhouse, and I would've easily pulled a 3.5, which leads me to my next point...

I really do not care even the slightest about my grades. College if you are in the field of Communications is about one thing and one thing only: Networking. The more people you know, the more you open yourself up to potential job/life opportunities. College provides a plethora of people to add to your contact list who can help you and who you can help. Those people know other people, who in turn connect you to others and so on. My problem was that there were two people during the first 90% of my college career, on-campus Ryan and off-campus Ryan, and trust me, on-campus Ryan was not the networking type. He was the "please just get me through this class without forcing me to speak to another human being" type. Until the home stretch that is. Then, a new man emerged.

One of the things that made this semester a success was the cast of characters I came to know and love. Though they all are baffled and outraged that I'm off the facebook drug, and we couldn't cement our status as friends with a f-book connection, I copped a ton of digits, which (should, at least) matter far more anyway. I don't think I laughed as much my entire time at college as I did the last couple months, because although I can find plenty of people who share my interests, finding individuals who share my humor is difficult. Normally the idea of a group project makes me shudder, but I was fortunate enough to meet people through my Team Building class that were winners. They were legitimately fun to be around, even if the class material itself was legitimately a complete and utter waste of time. I was totally swamped this semester, so I had to blend social life with work/school life which resulted in me taking my laptop everywhere and me not being completely socially awkward at school and work. My social swagger is currently at an all-time high after finally covering the school terrain, and hopefully this translates to other areas of life that require a high rating on the swag-o-meter.

Truth be told, this semester/its conclusion have far too many threads intertwined with life/life lessons for this not to be a multi-part blog. I have so many stories, both big and small to attempt to tie into this blog's material. So look for some posts in the coming days as I sort through everything that has been collecting dust in my dome since I last posted something. I depart from you with a Goodnight Moon-like take on the completion of my time at Owl-Central. It may not be good, but hopefully, like my GPA, it will be good enough to get the job done and conclude with...

Goodbye Temple, Goodbye Owl
Goodbye classes that made me scowl
Goodbye Peaks, Goodbye Valleys
Goodbye pro-abortion rallies
Goodbye Greek Life, Goodbye Frats
Goodbye wiggers in straight-brimmed hats
Goodbye lectures, Goodbye agendas
Goodbye Asian streetcar vendors
Goodbye Maxis and Temple Star
Goodbye long walks from my parked car
Goodbye friends I made in class
Goodbye gay profs equipped with sass
Goodbye Johnson and Hardwick pack
Goodbye 7-11, Goodbye Sac
Goodbye profs that kept it real
Goodbye North Philly appeal
Goodbye blackboard, you won't be missed
Goodbye things I forgot to list
Goodbye Cherry, Goodbye White
Free of you, I'll sleep tonight

BLOG LEAVE OF ABSENCE

Note to my readership (or at least what is left of the 3 of you who used to browse the page): I am taking a leave of absence until I have a Temple University Diploma in my hand. I feel like this move was unavoidable given my life's schedule in the first half of 2010.

I can't find time to write more than once every couple weeks, and when I do sit down to write, my thoughts are too scattered to form anything coherent. I was called out by a friend a month ago for "forcing material" and he was absolutely correct. In reality, I wasn't accomplishing anything by delivering half-hearted posts on an inconsistent basis. For this I apologize. You, the faithful reader, deserve to have your following efforts rewarded with something of substance. I will try to deliver that something once I have cemented my status as a college graduate.

The truth of the matter is this: Writing is all about flow. The more you do it, the better it gets. It's not because you necessarily improve gramatically or find more fascinating subject matter to deliver opinions on. It's because creativity is a mindset, and the more cosistently that state of thinking is tapped into, the easier it becomes to find a flow, and the less one is cripled by writer's block and lack of stories, and other things of that nature.

So it is with this that I will bid official farewell to the blog till I am ready to make my triumphant return to the game...see you in May!

Partay in Team Buil-ding Class (to the tune of the Miley Cyrus hit)

Tonight in in Team Building, we had a class party. There are a few questions you probably need answered after reading only one sentence of this blog entry. For starters, no, I am not in middle school, it was a college-level course that the party took place in. Also no, Team Building is not a legitimate college-level course to begin with, so in essence we can say that it actually was more of a 7th grade atmosphere than a 17th grade one (that's what grade I am now for all keeping count...at least I think) And yes, to answer your last question, it was a pretty ridiculous experience after all was said and done. Although, I should mention, it got me thinking (mostly about food-related things)...

Now that I've answered a few of your questions, maybe you can do me a solid and tend to a few inquiries of my own:

One group in my class brought in a box of soft pretzels. They were approximately 5-7 hours old. I took 2 bites, and decided it wasn't worth the time of day. Similarly, someone brought in half-day old D&D munchkins to my work yesterday for a kids birthday. I had one and turned down offers for a plethora more. (the teacher of my class is heavy-set, and is always shoveling food down the staff's throats. We're always being tempted by copious amounts of diabetic coma-inducing grub) So which is the worse food to eat when it's getting stale?

The same group that brought pretzels also brought tastykakes. I took home some leftover butterscotch krimpets and put down the standard Noah's Ark special, 2 by 2. Speaking of 2's, this question is a 2-parter. Firstly, what, if anything, gets consumed quicker than a tastykake snack? Secondly, is the butterscotch krimpet the greatest tastykake ever made? I say unequivocally yes personally.

Another group planned a team building activity for the party that involved marshmallows. Is there ever a time that marshmallows are really needed if you aren't around a campfire? People have tried to sell me on marshmallow fluff over the years, and I have never bought it. You could make the case for marshmallows in your hot chocolate, but even then is it absolutely necessary? Do mallows bring more to life than I'm giving them credit for?

...WITH ION 4!!!

So I have the winter Olympics on in the background as I'm doing some work. (Figure Skating is on, which is Mom's favorite. She lives and dies on every gravity-defying move as my Dad eagerly waits for a epic fall to occur. One of the many ways they are without question perfect for each other. High comedy.) As I'm glancing up at the tele, I see a commercial for Powerade's new calorie-free sports drink. NEW, POWERADE ZERO....WITH ION 4!!!...

Maybe I'm the one American out of millions watching who's out of the loop, but what in the sam hill is ion 4?! Am I supposed to rush to my local supermarket immediately because this stuff has ion 4 in it? I'm still not totally sure I understand what electrolytes are (or buy their importance). And gatorade has been pushing electrolytes on me for years now. I should have stopped drinking gatorade all together when they discontinued their "lemon ice" flavor, which was my go-to for years. But how many idiots out there really think that sports drinks are going to drastically improve their athletic performance? As my doctor once said, the best sports drink for you on the market has always been, and will always be, water. Plus, when's the last time you heard of evidence to prove powerade zero helps to prevent kidney stones? Case and Point.

If I want my dose of Ion 4, I'll hit the local GNC, assuming of course that ion 4 actually exists. If I want to rehydrate after a run, I'll stick with the tried and true H20.

Sharing my VD with you

Seeing as I'm not busy with any Valentine's Day activities, I may as well blog. While everyone is stuffing their faces with dinner, chocolates, and well, their significant other's face, I am single and relaxing at home. Am I lamenting the fact that I don't have a boo to snuggle up with on everyone's favorite Hallmark holiday? Certainly not, although I must say I am disappointed with my lack of prospects.

I like to look at people in the dating game like I look at sports. Their are players happily/unhappily on teams (people in relationships), their are free agents you look at and consider signing (single people), and their are prospects. In a sports organization, specifically in baseball, it's always important to have a stacked farm system, especially if you're depleted at the professional level, so at the very least you can look forward to possible future success. Having prospective courting options is no different. You want to have something going, even if it may take long to really materialize, if it does at all.

Being obligation free on VD is one thing, being prospectless is another. Ever here the expression, "there are plenty of fish in the sea"? Of course you have. What they don't tell you is that of all those fish you have to eliminate a huge percentage that have deal-breaking religious and moral views. And speaking of morals, you have to eliminate the population of fish that are humping every other aquatic creature in the body of water. Subtract from those the fish with daddy issues and the ones living in other seas you never meet, and suddenly it becomes very difficult to carp-e diem with the right fish. Plenty of fish in the sea? More like a select few surviving the cesspool.

Anyhow, I'm getting a little too analogy happy, time to wrap this piece up. I hope VD was everything you wanted and more, and thank you for letting me share mine with you.