TOOT TOOT!!
But with that little appetizer consumed, let's get to the main course, shall we?
The blizzard of 2009 is upon us. It has arrived in full force, all 5 menacing inches of it. Had a few questions to throw out there that always arise in my head when we hit these perilous winter months, and the ground is covered with the cocaine of precipitation...
1) Why does anyone still believe meteorologists' predictions about how much snow we’re going to get? The number of inches is clearly just a conversation piece that never seems to reflect the actual number. My Dad has an interesting theory on this that is right far more often than it is wrong. He says when you hear the projected total inches, you take the smaller number, then divide it by 2, and you will be relatively close to the actual snowfall accumulation by the end of the “storm”. For instance, if the forecast calls for 4-8 inches, you’re probably going to get closer to 2. I like this theory, like I said, it’s on point more times than not.
2) Why do people always complain about the number of bad drivers in the snow?
From my own experience, most people drive too safely if that’s possible. You’re not going to spin out on a plowed city street if you break 15 mph, yet everyone I’ve driven around in the last 24 hours believes this to be the case. The problem with these conditions, is that the very few idiot drivers that are on the roads are more of a liability because they don’t take the conditions into consideration. There are far less of them actually driving, the number just seems amplified because they can do a lot more damage and cause many more traffic jams than usual, but this will never change.
3) What happened to a big snowfall being a regular occurrence in winter?
I don’t know whether it’s global warming or some other science-related phenomenon that I don’t completely understand, but it just does not snow like it used to. I miss bigger, more frequent snow falls and the chaos they bring to the adult-world, a world which I am becoming all too familiar with these days.
4) Why does everyone need bread and milk when a snowstorm is approaching?
We’re not getting hit by a storm of Minnesota-like proportions people, we never get anything that even sets back life more than a day or two tops. Still people rush to the store like Y2K is happening all-over again. (Or should I say happening for the first time since nothing happened at all then?) I heard some ridiculous stat about the average American family having enough in their cupboards to sustain them for like 19 days or something crazy like that. And on top of this, it’s not like all the stores that sell food just shut down when we get a few flakes. Even if you can’t drive to your local supermarket, there’s always some place within walking distance to acquire the necessities, if, in fact, a real storm hits.
5) Does it make me less of a man to admit that I love the mental image of wrapping up in a blanket with a hot chocolate and watching the snowfall?
I certainly don’t think so but I know that some dudes have issues with guys getting wrapped up in blankets. I don’t think my masculinity should ever be in question for feeling comfortable with a blankee on, although many would argue that my adult-pass should be permanently revoked for referring to a blanket as a “blankee” but that’s another issue altogether.
I know I’m not the first to whine about any of these snow-related topics, but given “El Blizzardo de 09” I figured I’d mention this stuff in passing.
Coming up next, I will let everyone in on the secret recipe to making a Cosmopolitan magazine….check back soon
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