Things White People Aren't Allowed to Say/Do (Part 1)

So I'm giving you 2 for the money today, which is a pretty darn good deal given this inner monologue that I am constantly transcribing is free to begin with.


Again I sit in the Computer Lab, monitoring a new wave of white Temple students who think they're skin has suddenly changed to a caramel tone because they now attend school in North Philly. I overhear certain things in conversation, and just shake my head, resigned to the fact that humans have such a hard time finding a stinkin' identity (myself included). And listen, we're all guilty of speaking differently on occasion around different groups of people. It's adaptation, and often times it's subconscious. The people who are getting called out are the ones who make a collective effort to speak differently, despite the fact it sounds absurd.

Instead of decapitating these idiots, I'm going to take the peaceful, more anger-management inclined road, and simply break down why I think that their patterns of speech are fatally flawed. So without further adieu-doo, I give you a new segment on Green Bleeding...Things that white people shouldn't say or do.

1) The N-Word
African Americans shouldn't even be saying this word. And obviously, white people shouldn't say it in a biggoted way. But the fact black people use it casually does not under any circumstances justify a white person using it while talking to one of his friends. Absolutely unacceptable. And yes, I do hear this happen way more than one might think. It is to the ear what beets are to the tastebuds. STOP SAYING THE N-WORD ALL YOU IDIOTS!!!!!!!!

2) Adding "yo" to the end of a sentence
This is verbal diarrhea in every circumstance except when making fun of someone else who is saying it in a serious manner. This was the thing that sparked this particular post from me tonight. Some kid was talking to his friend and said something to the affect of, "I think I did that assignment for tomorrow, yo." Well you know what, I think if your speech is an indicator of how you are going to do on the assignment you're turning in, the teacher may as well stamp "F...Moron" on it and save himself the time...yo.

3) Holla
Any girl with class probably won't appreciate being "holla'd" at, so pleeeease, don't say anything involving that broad holla'n at you. It sounds stupid regardless of skin color, but 10000 times worse when a corny little white boy starts saying it because he thinks that people in the suburbs can also live thug life. And trust me, I know I may be beating a dead horse with the "holla" thing, but I assure you it's needed, and I'm going to beat it till TU whities get the message or PETA gets in here, whichever comes first.

Wonderful, glad we cleared that up!
Till we meet again faithful reader...
Your eyes surveying my words are like carnival funnel cake when I have a sweet tooth on a mid-summer night.