The ABCs of My Weekend

Absolutely fantastic weekend when all was said and done. I learned a lot...yes that's vague, but if you don't know that I'm vague by now you should probably call it quits with reading this blog

Briggsy (possible other options include Brigzzz or L.B.) is the nickname I'm kind of digging at this point for Laura Briggs. Yes, I had to drop a name (or several) in this blog. Any self respecting human being who mentions this webpage in public deserves a shout-out, bottom line. So thanks Briggsy, both for the patio convo and for providing some solid vocals during the wedding. I'm sure we'll be playing the name game again some time down the road...at least one can hope

Connecticut is a beautiful state. I had my doubts heading north on I-95 whether or not it would be worth the trip (outside of the ceremony obviously) but the views in Mystic were pretty awesome, and I must say that I am intrigued by New England's beauty. I thought it would be a bunch of loser Red Sox fans and bland terrain...I stand corrected.

Dan Lacey was the driving force behind the weekend and I mean that quite literally. The man drove from Media to Connecticut and back in a very exhausting 18-hour stretch of business. Kudos for that, and for making it 3 weddings in 3 consecutive weekends...impressive and praiseworthy.

Extremely deprived of sleep is what I am right now, yet still...

Forgoing more sleep to finish this absurd blog entry

Great Father's Day today. Listened to my Dad preach, and it was an excellent sermon. Went out for some Chinese food to celebrate his big day. Got him a cheesy hallmark card that corresponded with an underlying F-Day theme, perfect.

Historically amazing wedding. I am so blessed to have been a part of it, and I hope to do at least some justice to how good it was through my words. If there was any moment that provided greater evidence of God's existence, power and love than when Jared and Mandee took communion together, I must have missed it. One of the more awe-inspiring, faith-affirming moments of my entire life, and I am NOT overstating this, I promise.

I really am disappointed in myself for not getting this blog entry up in a more timely fashion, but such is the life of a busy underachiever such as myself

Jared seemed to keep his cool throughout the big day. If anyone knows me and Jared, they know we suffer from the same affliction of being heavy sweaters. Our wedding days may be the most likely time this ailment could possibly rear its ugly head, but Jar-Bar kept his cool throughout. I literally sent the following prayer up to God, and this is far from a joke: "Dear Lord, please designate any excessive perspiration that may occur on this day to me and not Jared. I don't care if I am uncomfortable for the duration of this affair, just please Lord, keep him dry." The Good Lord answers prayer, and though I went through a few periods where my dress clothes and the humidity got the best of me, the conditions did not defeat the husband of Mrs. Mandee Ashworth

Klondike bars are really underrated in my humble opinion. What does this have to do with my weekend? Probably not too much, but it's good for the reader to know that my mind occasionally will think about snagging a Klondike, especially if it's getting toasty outside.

Livin' on a Prayer by Bon Jovi came on one of the Connecticut radio stations when we were taking a brief break from D's Iphone jams. He immediately turned the channel, and I was less than thrilled. Still, driver calls the shots, and if the driver inexplicably hates one of the most unifying songs ever written, you have to find a way to take it in stride. I love you Dan Josh, in spite of your musical bigotry, and know that you will have to suffer through Livin' on a Prayer at least 3,546 more times through your life given the popularity of the tune.

Matt _______. Can't remember the dudes last name, but I will not forget seeing him Friday night. The guy was an old buddy of Jamie (my partner in musical crime) who stylistically was right up my alley. If I was a talented performer, he is exactly what I would sound like. Every single song Matt played was one that I have at some point learned, or have tried with little/no success to cover. It's crazy to hear someone play only songs that you really dig for a couple hours. Ideal Friday night to come before a 22 hour long Saturday.

Not even close to being ready for marriage am I. (Sorry to phrase that sentence like Yoda from Star Wars, but I'm trying to run with this "ABCs" theme, and I have to sneak this idea in somewhere) People continually amaze me with their willingness (eagerness even) to jump into a lifetime commitment that they just are not ready for. After being at a wedding that both individuals were sincerely meant to take part in, I can honestly say that I personally am not developed enough as a man to take that step. People have to be straight with themselves when looking at their relationships. It's better to be single till you're in your early 40's than to jump the gun with the wrong person at a young age. Just because my amigo found the perfect woman for him at this point in life doesn't mean that I am destined to find my bride now also. People who put a time table on love and marriage aren't just impatient, they're foolish. Growth in this life isn't measured like miles on the odometer of a car. (I think I made that up, although it really sounds like i stole it from a Full House episode)

Omar, it's been real. But one of the reasons this weekend was so sweet was because I knew I only had one more day to deal with your shananigans. I love ya bud, and am sure you will get some sort of blog-love at a later date. On the other hand I am...

Pretty sure that once this monster post is finished, I will go on another long hiatus from the internet...I sure hope so at least

Quite the lengthy entry, wouldn't you agree?...ok, that was weak, let's just move on...Actually, one thing while we're talking about the letter Q: Top 3 most frustrating things in life is getting that 10-point piece in scrabble and not having a "U" at your disposal to make it count for something.

Rachel Ashworth gave me the perfect excuse to display my horrendous (AKA awesome) white boy dance moves at the wedding reception. She was clearly itching to dance, even more so than me, and we both were hoping that someone from our table would make the move. Eventually, I bit the bullet. Although we missed groovin to "Gettin Jiggy Wit It" which was a travesty, at least we got on the flo' for an assortment of other tunes. Rachel is just another piece of human evidence that the Ashworth family is just plain cooler than any other group of people connected by the same bloodline.

Smiling. Specifically of the awkward variety. When making eye contact with someone that you don't know in a setting as personal and exclusive as a wedding reception, there's only one real thing to do: Give them a big smile that says, "I don't know you, and let's face it, neither of us would particularly enjoy making small talk right now. That said, we both know a member of the recently betrothed, so let's reinforce the fact that this is a joyous occasion through our facial expressions." ...yes, to answer your question, my smiles do speak, and with an eloquence that my words lack.

Techno...my only beef with the entire wedding procedure had to do with this unfortunate genre of music. The time the dance flo' was the emptiest was when the music was most techno-based. I just can't get into techno, I'm sorry. But hey, it wasn't my choice of tunes, and when people are being selective jerks about what they want to dance to at my wedding reception some day, I'll be remembering how my picky self was this past weekend

Undressing in the parking lot, and getting into some more comfortable apparel was a good call. I fully endorse public nudity if it is necessary to make a long car ride more manageable...or if Dave Anglin is the driving force behind it

V-8 drinks all kind of taste the same to me...they all taste like a bunch of stuff mixed with carrots. It doesn't matter what's mixed with the carrots, because that particular taste seems to override any other fruits and veggies that may be mixed in

Why am I up this late when Omar is waiting to pummel me in less than 8 hours?!?!

X is a weird letter that always gives me trouble when it comes to anything alphabet related. But I was/am a huge fan of the X-men, so I suppose that counts for something when it comes to this letter

You are tired of reading this particular entry so I'll close it up on a more serious note, but one that must be mentioned because it was a moment of clarity that happened at the very end of my weekend...

Zero time I have for defaming my Lord and Savior's name under any circumstances. It does not matter where I am in my personal walk with the Christ, because it is insulting and intolerable under any circumstances. It's really incredible how much of this goes on nowadays and I am ashamed at myself for not being more vocally opposed to this type of slander. It just leaves a bad taste in my mouth, which is a complete aberration from what was a savory weekend.

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Moral of the story: Best way to follow up a fantastic weekend is with a mediocre blog. Chaaaa-Chiiiiing